Chinese Girl In America ( A Book)

Niki Yan, a native Chinese, born and grew up in China, a published author since she was a teen. Niki now lives in the city of angels.


Single short summary: A Chinese Girl’s journey in Hollywood. A human journey. The dream represents us all.

Single detailed summary: This is a revolutionary book. This unique original story is about a Chinese Girl’s adventure in Hollywood. It’s brilliantly written and full of passion. The Hollywood journey is actually a human journey. The language is direct, sharp, and simple. It’s right to the point. It’s beautiful and poetic, it’s just so real. It deals with a lot of social problems we are facing now in the world. It’s funny, and inspirational; Sarcastic and emotional. It’s spiritual. It’s universal. It has a taste of the rebellious spirit. And it will change the world. And there is no better TIME than now to set everyone free, and my book will do it. It’s honest and heart-felt. It makes you laugh and cry at the same time. It’s filled with humor and genuine emotion. It’s filled with organic passion. When you read the book, you feel like you’re in an exhilarating journey of your own. It's filled with speed, love, and tears. It’s bitter-sweet, yet compelling and uplifting. It reveals the true human experience. It’s a candid work. It’s just as important as ‘The Catcher in the Rye”, it’s the second ‘The Catcher in the Rye.’ It’s going to liberate America and the rest of the world.





Table of content:



Good Bye China
Let me in !America
Hollywood! Hollywood
Lost in translation
A Desperate Chinese Girl’s Confession
Swim with the sharks
Life on sunset blvd.
Catch the big fish
My Big Fat American Dream
Age of Innocence
Like a virgin
Catch me if you can
You are the Play
From Lemon Chicken to Spaghetti
Die another Day
Another Part of me
Wild at heart
Don’t Cry for me, Los Angeles
Crocodile’s tear
In the mood for love
No Pain, No Gain
Instant Karma
All is full of Love
City of angels
Time to celebrate
New Horizon






If you ask me what kind of story this is, I can’t tell you, it’s about a poor Chinese
girl falls in love with a white boy, or a white boy falls in love with a poor Chinese
girl. It’s none of them. It’s something larger than that. Like at night when you look at the sky, and you wonder why they shine in the dark of the night. Sometime, I wonder the same, why it is bright, and so generous.





Good-Bye, China


I hate Beijing’s buildings and Taxi drivers,
Including Forbidden City and Starbucks
When they talk about it, I want to talk about something else.
Not Kung Pao Chicken or Teriyaki,
Let's talk about something else.




If you ask me how I ended up in Hollywood, and fell in love with the city of angels, I probably can tell you one thing or two, like how lousy my childhood was and how I dragged myself into this La-la-land of America. First, it wasn’t easy to come to America for a poor Chinese girl like me. Second, I did not grow up in a rich family. So life was always hard beyond imagination. But if you really want to know, I can tell you how I dropped from high school in the perfect time of my life.

It was right after the Chinese New Year. I remember that day clearly. It was Monday. I came right back home after I saw those lousy teachers who were desperate for a new brain-washed semester. I smelled the stink in the air. And I left the campus right way.

I saw my roommate Lin picking his nose right in front of a classroom, and a girl he really liked was staring right at him. It was kind of funny. They were not kissing or anything, they were not doing anything glory either. Lin’s face was funny, it looked like he just cried. I did not say anything, I just walked away. He did not see me, otherwise he would talk to me like a madman. He always talked to me like a madman.

I came right home told my parents I dropped. They were shocked. New semester. New Year. Everyone was excited to register, but not me. I was a rebel. I truly was. I hate the educational system in China, maybe it’s all the same in the U.S, or any part of the world. The truth is I hated the educational system, period. Everyone wants exactly the same thing. But not me. “The best education is to see masters at work.” Michael Jackson said it. And I can’t agree more. The only true education is to see love in demonstration, to see the infinite divine source everywhere in creation.

So I wasn’t in regret about my decision. I never was. If you ask me if I ever regret to drop high school and jumped in an airplane to the U.S., the answer is NO. My life is not about a piece of paper. My life is not about repeating others. I knew this since first grade. When I enrolled the elementary school, I was only five, I liked to cross my legs on my desk in the classroom, and the teacher simply did not like it. So I had to sit straight like a zombie and that’s how they liked it. Osho said the same thing. He said when he was a kid, he liked to cross his legs on his desk, but he wasn’t a wimp like me, he said to his teacher: “This is between me and my legs , not yours. I’m not sitting on your desk or your head, you should relax.” Intelligent people are always criticized being crazy. Cause they are not conformists. Anyway, I was a rebel, I did not change myself just because other people made the stupid rules. You can’t learn a damn thing from a classroom. Being a machine certainly was not my intention. I wanted to be free. I wanted to be myself, but you know how hard it is to live in a society which is full of zombies. I would rather climb mountains. I can learn more from the birds, the flowers, the nature. But you can’t learn a damn thing from the teacher. Pink Floyd said long time ago: “We don’t need education, teacher, leave the kids alone!” Maybe I listened them too much, I wanted to break the wall, and I don’t want to be a brick , not in a million years.

So I wasn’t happy to be at school studying ABCs. I’m just not that kind gal. I have my own rules. I have my own worlds. My parents weren’t happy about my decision. Actually they were very mad, They wanted me to be like any other Chinese kids, like going to college, getting a job and finding a lousy husband and their life will be better. Well, that kind of cliché doesn’t work for me. I am a rebel. I hate the traditions. I hate them with passion. All you do is to worship your ancestors. Or live for your parents. Nobody has a goddamn life for their own. It’s pretty sad. I’m telling you. Everyone wants money, power, or they just want to find a goddamn job so they can pay bills for the rest of their life. But do they ever have a life? I don’t know. All I know is humans are becoming less human each day. And it’s pretty sad. And I wanted to pursue my dreams, to do whatever fills my heart’s desire. And my dream was: to be an actress in Hollywood.


Basically I just said “See ya” to my parents, and jumped to the airplane. Of course it was not that easy. I had to call my old uncle and asked him for some lousy dough so I can leave the country. Well, he did give me some money, but not much. Just enough to cover the tickets and all.

One thing I have to tell you is when I was at the American embassy to apply for a visa, the Chinese spoken American man just turned me down three times. Who knows, maybe he was just being ass. The last time I was there, I simply told the guy that I’m going to see Michael Jackson concert at stable center and I already bought the tickets. And this time, it’s a different guy and he just happened to be a Jackson fan and he looked right into my eyes, knew that I wasn’t kidding. Well, I wasn’t kidding. I wasn’t kidding at all.

Anyway, that guy kept talking about Michael Jackson for thirty minutes straight, and everyone thought he was nuts. I thought he was simply lovely. It’s hard to see people full of passion about something, most time people just complain and blame about the paper and bills, and the endless chaos and suffering which we all create. So it was a bless to see someone is excited about something. Michael Jackson never had a concert in China, the fact is he never landed in China. But I had the desire to land in America.

Anyway, I was very lucky. I did move my ass to America. It was the best decision I have ever made. I told my best friend from junior high, his name was Lin. Yes, the guy I saw on the same day I dropped. I told him I’m going to be an actress in Hollywood, guess what he said:

“Are you crazy? You are still young. Why don’t you stay home to be safe?!” Boy, I laughed my ass off. Be safe? I came to this world not to be safe, but be alive. He does not understand my dream. He never did. The only reason he became my friend because he was a good listener. That’s all. We had nothing in common. My old English teacher heard me I was leaving, and he was almost in tears. I never forget the way he gazed at me, perplexed, or even a little bit confused. Maybe he wanted to go to America too, but he did not say anything. He sighed deeply after he offered me a glass of Martini on a sunny afternoon in his office. He was a good friend. Not because I always got good grades, actually the opposite: I wasn’t a good student. I wasn’t a good student at all. And he was there to show me his own genuine emotion and I was very touched. It’s hard to leave. I swear God it’s hard to leave. I know the feeling. I know the feeling so damn well.

“Niki, I will miss you. My daughter always wanted to go to America, but she failed three times, eventually I sent her to Belgium. I just wanted her go abroad. I gave her thirty thousand dollars each year to support her. She is lucky, very lucky, she has me. But Niki, I’m even more proud of you, you came from nothing, you don’t have a rich dad, but you have a rich heart, good luck, young lady, I hope someday I will see you walking on the Red Carpet! Hollywood is yours now. Take over America by Storm!”

Mr. Yang truly knew me, he knew my dreams. But Lin was different, he was only a kid, he knew nothing about dreams. After I told him I want to be an actress, he simply said: “ For the sake of money and fame?”

I just had to laugh. Not everyone sees life as the way I do. Poor Lin, knew nothing about the dreams, his life must be very dull. That’s how I really thought. If someone doesn’t have a dream, I don’t know how s/he lives the life! Without dreams we will die. Just like our breath, without breathing, life vanishes.

“Well, the reason why I want to act is like why you’re breathing.” It was a rainy afternoon, we sat in the corner of a tea house, watching the big rain drops wimpling down the window. It was wet, dark, and rotten. The whole world was covered with a curtain, my mind was blurry too. It was foggy, misty. Lin was sipping his tea, his eyes focused on the greenish tea bag for a long time, then he said he loves me. He was only 16 years old, and he said he did not like the idea that I’m going to Hollywood to become an actress. “That’s pretty lame, Niki, you can be an actress here in China, why America?” He pouted and I said nothing. Sure something he will never understand. I told him that I’m going to America in two weeks and I already got the ticket. He started crying. “You know Niki, I always want you in my life, I love you, I can’t live without you, why do you have to be so cruel and leave me? I can make you happy, do you think America will make you happy? A lot of Chinese there treated as third citizens, and what you’re going to America for? To wash dishes in a Chinese restaurant and being depressed all the time? You will be far from home, no family, no friends, no nothing, it’s not even your own country!”

“Lin, you probably never understand. There is a world called adventure. that’s what life is all about, to live, to experience, not to stay in the same old house for all your life, that’s just not me. Plus, this world is huge, so much to see. If you don’t have a dream in your life, don’t you love to travel? Love to see other cultures and other people? See how they live their life?”

Lin did not answer my question, the raindrops went through my heart like a river. Lin couldn’t understand, not at all. My heart was beating for a dream. And he did not know underneath the quiet surface, there was a shining storm. My blood was flowing, my soul was dancing. I was a dreamer, I truly was.
After we finished drinking tea in that creepy teahouse. I wanted to walk in the rain. Lin followed me. The rain was pouring. It never rained like this in Beijing. I wish we had an umbrella. The truth is whenever Beijing rains, the streets get so dirty, all the trash, newspaper, dirt mixed together and flowing around in the city with the water from heaven, and that’s so depressing. I only had a white long sleeve shirt on, and my whole body was trembling. After we walked in the rain for twenty minutes, Lin offered me his jacket. Eventually we both agreed to find a roof to get away from the rain, so we stopped at a grocery store. We were standing outside of the store under the roof-edge, hoping the rain would stop any time soon.“Lin, give me another reason why you don’t want me to go!”
“Cause I love you!” He screamed to the sky. And I swear God his voice was penetrating the sky, and my body started shaking very bad,
“ Low your voice, Lin, it was too loud!” He did not pay attention to what I said, he never did. I noticed a little girl standing next to him. She looked like five years old, standing there with her mom. Her eyes were really big, three times bigger than regular human’s. I thought she was an alien or something, but I did not say a thing. I stared at her quite a while, finally I said: “ You-are –so-beautiful!” She gazed at me for a second, the way she looked at me was so mysterious, and profound, it was so familiar, it seemed that I have met her before, from last life. It was such a strange feeling, but also it remind me of synergy. Something thick flowing in the air and I was just frozen there for a while.
Lin did not believe in reincarnation, basically he is not spiritual. He said when you die you die. And he kept petting the little girl’s head, and she seemed very annoyed. It felt like I’d been standing there for a thousand of years. Time sat still, no past or future, it was just Now. The little girl’s mom seemed not like me staring at her daughter, “Ling, Let’s go home, the rain is getting lighter, let’s catch a bus.” She grabbed the little girl’s hand and they walked into the rain. And it’s getting heavier. The little girl turned back to me many times. I saw that saddest look, and the sadness was very profound.
“Niki, see, you scared the little girl away, her mom was pretty pissed off, can you not tell?”

“Maybe she is an alien.” I murmured to myself.

“An alien? ” Lin laughed, “Niki, you’ve been acting so strange lately. An alien? Alien my ass, there is no such thing as alien.”

“You don’t believe in Aliens?”

“No, of course not, we human, the only life in this universe!”

I did not want to argue, I walked into the rain. I was obsessed with the rain for some reason. I love nature. I love nature in all forms. I’m always amazed by the natural phenomenon, like thunderstorm, like eclipse, like sunlight, like ocean breeze, it’s all fascinating to me. The rain was pouring like a monster. And I was just standing there letting the water from heaven cleansing my body. And it was so satisfying. I saw Lin came out from the grocery store, with a coca-cola on his right hand.

“Want a coke?”

“No thanks, it’s so cold, I feel like hot chocolate… or wine, something keep me warm, you know what I mean? Not a coca-cola, definitely not.”

The rain was still pouring like a monster, it was mixed with my own memory and wet feeling. I was thinking about the five-year-old girl. A few crows flew over the pine trees. People say crows are bad luck. I never thought so. Good or bad all depend on your own thoughts. They are simply shinning and living to me.
The day I was leaving, Lin went to Beijing International Airport to see me off. He brought me a lot of roses, and he had tears in his eyes. I never thought this guy could be so sentimental. To be honest, I never liked Lin, I mean I liked him as a friend and all, but nothing more than a friend. I was pretty emotional too, but more than anything else, I was excited for my own adventure. Lin’s eyes were flaming red, like peaches. He really cried hard. The Airline started calling people for boarding. I put on my red shining Nike bag, shook his hand, and said to him in an extremely soft voice: “Good-bye, China.”

poems

Angel on earth



I saw myself flying high, above the sky
to the snow mountain, to the end of the
Planet.

I saw tears flying down on my cheek

The white dress covered my face, covered my tears…
And I was like an angel…

flying high….

Tears flying down on my arm
Sunlight kissed my lips,
I was flying like an angel

I saw myself flying high
With horizon disappearing in my eye

The white snow mountain
The wind blows the horizon




LIGHT


I am the lightning in the dark blue sky
The sunshine under your eye,
The imaginary rose and clouds
The rain that wet your dreams
The dragonfly, the sound, the silence, the pain the prayer,
The emptiness, the daring one with all the courage
I want to share you my sorrow and pain
If I am living my life as God's wish

The Best Day Ever!

You are reading this book cause you are being called!

This is the time to make a difference in your life, this is the time to make the BEST of it! Yes, today is the best day ever!

Have you ever wondered how you life would be changed for the best of us all? Have you wondered how you can breathe the beautiful cosmic energy so you can blossom like a flower and radiate the most amazing light which is already INSIDE of You?

Yes, you are Love, You are Light, You are the absolute truth everyone is seeking. Yes, you are the sunshine, you are the air, you are the flower, you are the water, you are the universe. And You are going to shine like a magnet and make everyone smile!

Cause Today is the Best Day Ever!

Life’s purpose is JOY, LOVE, AUNDANCE and Well-being. It does not matter what you do, now it’s the time to change for the BEST!

The Past is Over, the future is NOW.
Today is the Best Day ever!

You thoughts, your feelings, your words and everything happen inside of you will manifest outside. How do you feel now? Do you feel happy? Peaceful? Lovely? Healthy? How do you feel this moment? What’s on your mind? What are your dreams? What are you going to accomplish? There is no better time than Now to pursue your dreams. And you know it, it’s ALL coming true~!

RIGHT NOW. RIGHT HERE.

And It is UP to YOU!!

You are a sacred DIVINE being and you are very blessed just being alive, and you know God is infinite, there is no lack with GOD, he will supply anything you want in your life, the question is What DO you want? What’s your Passion? What is your Inner Calling? What is it you love to do?

You may not have a lot of money in the bank right now, but you know it’s coming to you like water, the universal abundance is flowing to you like a river! Why? Cause Everything is part of God, and God will manifest everything you want! And money is just part of this Divine Energy! And it’s good to have money, it’s part of the Divine, so love it, embrace it, manifest it, and the most important: Know you deserve it!

We become what we think, we even become more what we feel. How many times we just re-act with circumstances, and forgot the energy we sending out will come directly to us? You can make the change, you can make that shift! Make every moment BEAUTIFUL, cause this is your Divine light, this is your Divine RIGHTS. And You can make the shift now! No matter what happened to you in the past, let it GO! Today is the best day ever!

I’ve heard people talking about their problems, they complain, they blame….and I understand, but I want to tell you this simple Truth: No matter what other people did to you, no matter how bad the situation is, you can always embrace it with LIGHT! Why? Cause when you are sending out your beautiful Divine Energy, the universe responds with exactly what you send out, even more, miracles happen when you are aligned with the Divine creation.

And this is the Best Day ever, cause today you are going to feel different, think different, act different, cause today is the best day ever, cause today is your destiny. So, don’t take advantage about life, accept whatever comes! LOVE, embrace, know that the infinite potential is within, you are more than capable to do things you always want to know, and NOW is the TIME!

Don’t waste your time no more! Even though you have done this through most of your life, cause you were negative, you were hurt, you were depressed, you felt left behind. I know this feeling, and I know how you feel. I know all this so damn well! And Now it’s the time to feel how beautiful you are, how capable you are, and how much you can offer, for the WORLD. You are not here to eat, sleep, work a job you don’t like and pay bills! No, this is not a life! Remember, fear is the only thing make you stop from being beautiful, lovely and abundant!

There is no such thing as minor, as insignificant. Everything you see you touch is grand marvelous creation, and everything you don’t see is also the most remarkable! Know yourself, know who you are. You are not your flesh and bones you call it Physical body, you are divine energy, every singe cell in your body is crying for your attention. And each cell is a universe itself, don’t take advantage of this divine opportunity! Don’t take advantage of the DIVINE Grand magnificence we call LIFE! Life is speaking to you NOW! Love is touching you, and the universe constantly echoes to every thought you sent out!

There is nothing we can do but being Beautiful, Lovely, and shining, and yes, this is YOU! And there is less you can do!

Feel the LOVE in the air, smell the roses, and know you MISSION.
You came here for a higher purpose, and you are important, for all of US! You are here to fulfill your destiny, if you are doing some work you truly hate, Stop NOW, if you’re experiencing a bad relationship, step out now! Cause this is the time for the NEW, the Old must go!

So don’t hold on the OLDS, Embrace the new! “Every moment is a chance for everything turn all around.” So be ready, be lucky. And You are. You are about to create something incredible!

My grandma always told me that: “ Don’t struggle! Just Shine!” And I remember her words, I remember her words so damn well. And she was always shining, and vibratingly
healthy, cause she knows one thing: she is LOVE, once you just BE the love that you are, everything will just unfold like a magic, effortlessly and beautifully.

So here is what I ask you to do, if you want to have money, Give, if you want to be happy, Give, if you want to be healthy, Give, don’t hold on NOTHING, let it GO, know that ONLY GOOD come to your life when you are giving. And this is the awareness you must have. How many of us hold on things so tight so we don’t let go, so we block the New Fresh Abundant energy coming to US? How many times we are just afraid to LOSE so we actually can’t see the Abundance within? Yes, everything is INSIDE of you. WHO you really are? You are the most marvelous thing I have ever seen, cause you are unique, you are special, no one else in the world is like you. You are the rare Gem, and you are the emerald of life, and you are the Alchemist, and you can turn lead to GOLD!

Actually you are the GOLD!
Your world is full of magic. And you are about to bring it to the world, and yes, in the world stage, you are the actress/actor, you are the producer, you are the director, you are the MASTER!

You see, once you realize how magnificent you are, how precious you are, you make miracles, actually the miracles are just coming to you, cause one thing I know for sure: once you believe something, it will come to you in reality. And I write this long time ago:
“In a free world of imagination, there is no limitation.” Sure, there is no limit, you are infinite! And you are going to be like supermen and superwomen cause you are going to fly as the speed of light!

But you know any number is a limit, even the speed of light, but not you thoughts, not your imagination, you can always dream SKY HIGH and reach SKY HIGH, this is YOUR divine right.

Pause for a moment now, How do you feel?

How DO you feel NOW?

Take a deep breath, and close your eyes…

What do you see?

Yes, the Divine Light.

The creator. The Source. Some people call it GOD.

And I call it the Universal Divine Field.

So you have entered the Kingdom of Heaven.

Welcome.

I solute your courage! I admire you talking the first leap of your LIFE!

Now you have been transcended, now you are the Master of your own LIFE. Now you are FREE, finally. Everything you want is coming to you NOW.

Congratulations.
You have come a long way.

Be Proud of yourself.

The universe is welcoming you. You have come from far far away, and now you finally came home. The fresh fruits and vegetables are welcoming you. The divine drink from heaven is mixed with Love and it is for you. And that’s the food for the SOUL, and every cell, every particle of your being are happy NOW. And they are applauding you, thanking you, and being Proud of you!

LOVE, PEACE, JOY, ABUNDANCE and SUCCESS are flowing to you NOW. And remember: Everyday is a Holiday and Today is the BEST day ever!




Forever love and Light,

From Your host: Niki Yan

Namaste.

post some pictures--back from China

My New Chinese Book!!


To my left is the super Chinese Rock star-Zhang chu at a PR conference in Beijing this May, 09.


with Clint Eastwood


Me on Melrose hours before headed for China!!

SOMETIME

I like to be a ghost...in a Movie or something, it will be fun!

Love Edward Cullen

Saw "Twilight" Today, twice, loved the movie, and the book, going to see again next week, miss his marble hands and cold chilly face, and that glare.... from his corner of the eye, yes, his pale skin and dazzling glare make me dream...that cool feeling...............

A movie changes the WORLD.

the movie is called "Taare Zameen Par",( Little stars on earth) directed & starred by Aamir Khan. This movie is a WAKE-UP call for humanity.It is the ONLY movie I have watched in theater for 20 times in a row. Yes, I saw this film in downtown LA a year ago, this film came out Nov. last year, & only released in a few asian * indian theaters in the US, well, I heard it might be released in the US wide, well, I hope so, cause this is the film you want to see if u r a human being...
( Flawless, the PUREST human experience...it's liberating every single human being on this planet! Yes, it has the power, here is a review I wrote a year ago)

MOVIE MUST SEE!!!!!!!

“Taare Zameen Par” (” Every Child is Special”)— the most beautiful movie I have ever seen, Now palying. Everyone on this Planet MUST see it…I mean everyone… This film is going to change the world, it’s going to change your life; You will FIND yourself there…You will know WHO YOU REALLY ARE!!! Yes, You are LOVE, & you are so LOVED! ALL WE NEED IS LOVE. LOVE is the MOST Powerful thing in life. The perfect beauty in the movie makes a strong man CRY…cause it tells you what’s really important in life, a longing SOUL can find beauty everywhere, a drop of tear can melt the iceberg. I watched the movie 10 times! I saw 80 years old Ladies cried, I saw 8 years boys cried, I saw couples, parents, kids, students cried, it was amazing everyone was sobbing in the theater, NOT because of sadness, because of JOY! Because of being DEEPLY touched by the REAL beauty of LIFE, by the LOVE, by the Heart, by the sky high will, and universal WIDE spirit…What a fantastic Movie! In the last 30 years of my life, this one hit me like never before…I feel it’s my mission & responsibility, also joy & happiness to let everyone to know about this film….This Movie is TOO GOOD to NOT to share with YOU my friends! And you MUST Watch it in theater! GO SEE it NOW! It’s ONLY in theater for a few MORE days!!!!! This Movie is about LOVE, DREAM & HOPE. It’s about being yourself. It’s about being FREE, it’s about living your life in the most valuable way. It’s about the TRUTH that everyone MUST learn. It’s spiritual, moving and touching. It’s about this boy’s journey from the dark to the light. I was deeply touched, I saw hope & LOVE, I saw myself…Anyone can relate. We all have a dream. We all have a way to see the world, and a way to live our life. And that is so special. Sometime we forget it because our heart is covered with dust, now you can truly find out WHO you are after you see the movie. You can truly understand what you are all about. It will enlighten your soul, and change your LIFE from inside and out. Yes, YOU ARE LOVE. You are JOY! You are infinite, You have the FULL-potential, You can do anything & everything you want to do. You are NOT alone. Just follow YOUR heart, you will find the way home, yes, you are FREE, Yes, you are the Angel, yes, you are breathing the most beautiful essence we call LIFE, yes, heaven is on earth, welcome Home my friends. Take a deep breath, fly HIGH, ABOVE the SKY… The movie is PURE & delightful. It’s for ALL AGES. It’s deep and spiritual, it carries the MOST important message for this WORLD, which is LOVE, ONLY LOVE can heal disease, ONLY LOVE can MOVE mountains. ONLY LOVE can turn lead to Gold. ONLY LOVE. The Music is the BEST, it’s like cherry on the cake, makes the whole movie a fantastic emotional & spiritual JOURNEY! What a Masterpiece! Every single scene is perfect, The movie is flawless as a piece of art, but it’s MORE than a MOVIE; it’s a Hopeful beautiful world everyone’s dying to live in…… This Movie is from India. But it’s NOT a traditional Indian Movie, It’s Universal, It’s Spectacular! It’s A Special Movie, when the first time I saw the poster in the theater, I did NOT pay any attention, first, the Indian title bothered me, since it looked foreign & strange to me, (I hate to read subtitles!) plus the poster looked absolutely boring…But I am thankful I gave myself a chance to see it when a friend recommended. The film runs through like crystal water, YOU DON’T have to read the subtitles, just feel & see….& You will be amazed. WOW, what a journey I thought. after I saw the movie, my whole world turned upside down…I knew my life was about to change. And it did. SO here I am, speaking to you NOW, my friend. This MOVIE changed the way I see my life and the world. I feel happy, grateful and absolutely wonderful! YOU MUST SEE IT !! It’s for EVERYONE. Bring your kids, your mom, dad, & grandparents! And, Do yourself a favor, DO NOT READ anything on the internet about the MOVIE, JUST go SEE IT

go to Youtube see this clip, this is my favorite scene, also song from the movie...
All the music in this film are beyond amazing, & the whole story, yes, you MUST watch it from the beginning to the end, it's my life time desire to work with artist like Aamir Khan, that's why I decided to NOT sell my SOUL to Hollywood; It's my LIFE time desire to make a film matters like this so the whole universe benifits, solute to Aamor Khan, I love you, and I am so glad we still have so mant great artists out there to make a difference, thank you, and yes, let's ROLL!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UhfJJ6SkWyM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CLF6vVM-wWk

You tell me

You tell me go right I will go right
You tell me go left I will go left
You tell me cry I will cry
You tell me wash my face I will wash my face
life already lost its meaning
the lost rose burning in the ashes

You tell me cry
I will cry
you tell me die
I will die

you tell me never come back
I will never come back

I do exactly what you tell me to do
cause
my life is in the ashes
cause my life is falling like a building
collapses

You tell me go right
I will go right
you tell me go left
I will go left

I don't say No
I don't resist
I just do whatever you tell me.

You tell me to eat
I will eat
You tell me go outside
I will go outside
I am a woman without her wings
I am a woman lost her feet

You tell me when to eat
You tell me when to sleep
You tell me

You tell me when the sun is up when the sun is down
when I’m running in the rain like a child.

You tell me

You hurt me
You destroyed me
You broke me

I MISS YOU

I miss you, and this is an ancient feeling
I miss you
Like I miss myself

I miss you cause the sun blind my eyes and the wind banished my dreams
I miss you.

I miss you cause my heart hanging over your shadow, and the rain washing down to my bones

I saw myself flying like an angel
I miss you.
at the edge the shore, at the edge of the bubbles
I saw my heart hanging ( without longing) just empty
It disappears in a life time ( and darling, how long is too long?
how long is forever, and how long it takes to climb a mountain, and how long is the way to death and how long to reach my destiny?)

I miss you when the day comes
I miss you when the night comes
I miss you when the sun disappears
I mss you when the heaven coming to earth and we fly away

I miss you cause I lost my vision I miss you cause I can’t see myself, the wings are broken and the feet are vanished
to the horizon.
I miss you and I’m counting the time between two bubbles. ( Darling, how long to comb your hair? and how long is forever?)

The sky is blue, the wall is cold
The air shattering between my toes
I miss you, like I miss a foreign fossil

The ice is breaking, the darkness emerges into my lip, as a whole,
and yes, I miss YOU!

( Where am I going from here?
Darling, darling, you know the answer!
Where are we going from here??)

I miss you.
The air is cold, the voice soars
And I miss you

I miss you like I miss a lost soul
I miss you like I miss the dazzling light on my own roof,
I miss you like I miss the light at night--shines on my tear—And, yes, that’s the last drop.

I miss you cause I see your finger tips and the snow lotus
I saw my own tears falling down on my own
finger tip ( and I recognized… that is YOU!)

I miss you & this is an ancient feeling
I’m sitting here in my own destiny

I’m sitting in my own destiny
And
MISSING
YOU.

( Yes, darling, you know the fear will never go)

I Saw Your SOUL

I dreamed all my life, I danced with my wings like an angle
I came to the city looking for you
I found you in the corner shaking like a child

You touched my soul
you ruined my life
you loved me
deeply,
you fucked me
crazily
we lived in that small dark room
for the rest of our lives

baby
I'm singing this song
because of you
I'm singing this song
because I saw your soul


I dig the gold
I found my heart
I found myself lying on the ground
for a reason I can never reach
this is something called crazy
this is something called fantasy

I dropped my tears
I dropped my tears again in this fucking city called
The Angeles

I failed
I stood up
I wiped my tears
I cleaned my blood
I love to fuck
I love to create a world I call LOVE



If you ask me why

The rain dropped on your cheek,
the train left me 30 years ago,
the smile and the little house we shared our dreams
You ask me why...

The strange boy passing by
His eyes full of light
If you ask me why,
There is no reason why I said good bye,
If you ask me why

The strange boy’s tears stuck
In my chest,
I standing in the middle of the
dark
I laughed, I cried,
I cried, I laughed,
If you ask me why
I never came back.

Just woke up from the dust
just pretend like a sixteen year old
just put my pillow on the right
just washed my dished with all the sour and bitterness
spicy and delusion,
fantasy and imagination
I'm here for a reason

Just came back from the battle field
baby, if you ask me why I never came back...

If you ask me why,
Let me open my eye
Show you all my sorrows and strength
If you ask me why,
let me open my eye

Love is a fragile thing

Where can we go ?

Where can we go?
What can we see?
Where are you gonna to stay?

What’s tomorrow?
Where is today and yesterday
I don’t know, I fall in love with you
Cause I know,
Cause I saw your soul.
Cause I saw your sorrow.

I love people,
I love you,
I love my neighborhood,

I love the sky filled with light.

I love your eyes filled with tears.
I love to see you cry,
I love to see you alive.


Love is a fragile thing


We love,
We care
We can not betray our heart

The beauty and purity
The dignity and divinity
Love is eternal…
love is an fragile thing...

Darling....I know your pain
I know your longings, I know your dreams.
I know you,
A working man with a mission

I know you are my fantasy

I know you are my responsibility

But love,
Is a fragile thing.



SHINE

When the sun goes down,
Dear! looking into the horizon
over the Pacific ocean,
the red ball shines for who?
The waves ring for who?
and your heart BEATING for who?

and your voice, your dreams sing for who?

when you look into the horizon, did you see a woman's both beauty and pain?
Did you see her tears?

when I look into horizon,
I saw your skin, thousands of years old, pure, shining

The water is burning,
the fire is singing,
the Pacific is ever green,
I know there is a place called home.

Heaven on earth

Angel on earth

I saw myself flying high, above the sky
to the snow mountain, to the end of the
Planet.

I saw tears flying down on my cheek

The white dress covered my face, covered my tears…
I felt like an angel…

Flying high….

With tears flying down on my arm
I was flying like an angel

I saw myself flying high
With horizon disappearing in my eye

The white snow mountain
The wind blows the horizon





Purple

Please take a deep breath
Please listen to your heart closely
Please forget my name if you don’t remember my face,
Please think of a girl, in a beautiful afternoon,
When the rainbow starts arising,
When the air is full of your breath,
When the wind starts breezing, dear!
When you’re drinking your coffee at Starbucks
Please think…think of a girl

16 years old, walking toward you
with a velvet trend
with a pinnacle light on her hand

her cloth is so white, like the moonlight,
she remembers that night, the moon also was so bright
that night, how the lightning breaking through
the surface of her tide.

Tonight,
The moon blossoming like lotus
She walking down your window
like a purple lilac
bringing you the ancient fragrance
With the ocean’s breath



A Raining Day in Los Angeles


It’s a raining day in Los Angeles,
darling, I opened my window cause
I want to see you.
to see you as a stranger, to see you as a lover
to see you as my echo
to see a beautiful soul covered with fear

If not for me,
What’s the meaning of living?
If not for me,
What’s the point to live in the city of angels?

Mama said she will be right back
Papa said his hair turned white

I closed my window, then I want to go back to Colorado
Go back to Aspen…
Go back to where I came from…
Hiding in those pine trees and never never miss you
again.

I want to leave this city just for you
I want to save all my tears in my heart,
just for you.
darling, you promised me
you will be right back…

It’s a raining day in Los Angeles.




(Hollywood, afternoon, when the sun comes out…)



Autumn Song

It’s the first day of October.
It’s a shining rain on your back, falling
Like you left me , without saying anything

I closed my eyes, then I saw your face,
Every time when I close my eyes, I see your face,
beautiful, cautious, real, like a mirror,
I can see my heart beating, bleeding.

It’s the first day of October,
It’s a day will end everything.
I ran, ran, like a child,
But I can never fill your dream, like a baby,
falling, falling…
faded away
eventually.

I sing, I sing,
I travel like a sunflower.
The gold petals are my tears,
My frozen dream is like you left me without saying
Without saying: this world is wonderful,
Without
Saying: “Hi, baby, let me take you away…”

Your smile is like sunshine,
Warm me on the first day.
But I can’t see anything;
my tongue is frozen because you’re leaving,
maybe also because it’s raining.
It’s raining.

On the way I’m looking for your shadow,
Please don’t, don’t hide from my window.

I’m on my way, thunderstorm, and lightning,
baby, I’m on my way.

To leave you is to be with you,
To love you is to sing this song for you.



Good-bye, My Love


The pacific is flowing for whom?
The sunset singing for whom?

The phoenix dying for whom?
The Everest snow- melting for whom?
The sun
The air
The morning water drop on the grass
Tip.
The red roses, white clouds…
They are blossoming for whom?
If you see you will understand
If you love you will understand
If you wait if you pray
If you weep, you will never leave.

I have been waiting for you before
I was even born
My heart is beating in the darkest of my dream…

The Middle East’s gunshots
The Iraq’s blood
China’s 2008, Olympic
Baby, how can you not know, how can you not seen?

My heart is beating, just for a cosmic reason.

The yellow river sings for whom?
The great wall standing for whom?
The people, the Everest
The Sahara’s tears
The phoenix’s cheek

Darling if you understand this woman,
You will know the air is filled of my
Finger tip.
They are shining just like the dream shinning in your boyhood
I love you, I love the sky full of light
I love my heart is open for a democratic reason

This is my fondest dream
For you, my darling,
Waiting for you,
And never return.
like the brightest of the sky in your eye

Darling, if you understand this woman
You will understand the air is full of her finger tip

I love you!
I love the sky full of light!
I love your past and I love your dream’s strength and weakness
I cry cause I love
I sing cause I love
I write cause I love
I fly…
Cause
I
Love.

I love my heart open for a secret
For a man I can never reach…

The luminous sky and Niki’s eye
Tom Cruise standing on the far side of my roof

The Yangtze river
The three dams
My bed is buried in the red boiling current, then I think of a boy
And that is you, my love, I know I won’t have to sleep inside the river forever, and I can always
escape.

I can’t escape cause I love

From now on I am going to flow like a leaf
fly like a song, fly like a lie
flow like a child can fly
from now on, I am going to knock on your door all the time, feed you with my milk
picking up the bloody old flowers.
from now on, I’m going to leave you, leave you and never never come back

From now on, I’m going to refused Hamburgers and potato chips
From now on, I’m going to let pacific wash my sin and dust, from now on, I am going to leave you, leave you and never come back, from now on,

From now on, I am going to let Everest’s snow bury my fondest dreams,

From now on, the Everest is going to collapse in my backyard, from now on I am going to disappear, disappear just for you, just for you.
Good-bye, my love.



Sweet Pie ( The coldness of Los Angeles)

My gaze at your forehead
My roof under your eye
I can never forget
I can never escape
from your little secret

I’m like a flame
Losing it’s very bright
I’m like a bird
try to heal the old wounds
I am like an alien
Look into your window

But you are NOT there
You are not there my friend
The sky covered everything up
I’m just staying in my little cold room
Listening “The Man who Sold the world”

Am I looking for connection?
Am I seeking your shadow?
Or it’s your innocence melted the dark side of my dream

I don’t know
I am like a lost child
I gazed you from another planet
I gazed you from my last breath
I gazed you with my both hands trembling in the wind
I gazed you with that confusion and innocence
Like a lost child finally found home

It’s a cold day in Los angles
The cold air sneaked in to my bones
I’m thinking of you
I’m thinking of you cause I love
I’m thinking of you cause I am lost
I’m thinking of you cause I finally found home

The rain poured in May
The strangers’ eye pass by
I’m like an alien lost my direction
But sure this is not the end

This is not the end baby
I am looking for your shadow,
Like I’m looking for sunbeam
In this rainy day
Under my roof

I’m looking for you cause I love
I’m looking cause I care
Maybe too much

I miss you not because one soul betrayed another
I miss you cause you are an angel

This is a rainy day in Los Angeles
I am looking for you like I’m looking for my last life
Like I’m looking for shadow in the dazzling bright sunlight
Which created who I am

I miss you yes I am innocent
I’m not guilty cause you are sensitive enough to figure it all
Out

I miss you cause I am an angle too

I want to touch your fingertips
I want to have a road trip

I want to kiss your hair
I want to reach your soul

How long it takes to break my sin?
How long it takes to make a love complete?

I am waiting for you
In the shadow

I am waiting for you
In my own cube

I’m waiting for you
Cause I love

I miss you
Cause I am an angel too.



Gaze

You are beautiful
You are an angel

You are a soldier
You are my mirror
You are my fear
you are my long lost pal

Gaze you like sex
Looking into your soul
I cried

I cried like a leaf falling down the
River

I cried
After you warmed the very center of my
fear

I know
This is not the end

Gaze at you
Like heaven coming to earth
Like your tears shine on my finger
tips.

let’s go to Mars
Let’s drink coffee on Sunset blvd
Let’s make love in the forest
When the moon shine in your blood

Let’s laugh
Let’s cry
Let’s live with decency
Let’s be outrageous
Let’s be gentle
Like fire
Like water
Like ice cube in your glass.


A gentle touch of love


I'm suffering...
am I?


I am dreaming
am I?
I saw this gentle love around my arm
I feel angel watching me sleep


Am I dreaming?

Am I suffering?

I feel LOVE dancing all over my Apt.
in Hollywood.

Waiting for you for a thousand years

I have been waiting here,
On the top of the Mount Everest
For a thousand years.

My hair starts falling,
My teeth are frozen
My feet become the roots,
The snow-white roots of a pine tree
growing crazily
underneath the 8850 meters’ mountain

It snowed for the first 100 years;
The blizzard covered time and space
I stopped weeping
I had nothing but waiting.

Waiting is beginning of my aging.
I lost my beauty, including
my black silk hair, my golden silk skin
I lost them all.

I lost myself from the previous life and the life after
just for a wish, a wish never change

You don’t know, you don’t see, you don’t feel
I’m here,
Standing as a Greek Sculpture,
solid, old, fragile

You don’t know,
You probably never know

I’m walking
down the hill of the tulips,
smiling at you,
with the tears of angel.

You don’t know,
You probably never know.

42 tears falling through my body, 42 wishes, 42 dreams
42 snowflakes, floating,
in the dark of silence.

42 times of raining, 42 years old man walking
in the opposite direction.

42 years walking through my finger
42 lives standing over my shoulder

A fire bird coming from paradise to say hi
My fingertip suddenly grows to light

I see you, a genius with the soul of snow
I see you, a permanent voice standing over my roof
I see you walking on the Everest
with tears falling down on my
Fingertip.

I close my eyes,
I walk like a goddess, dimly ,
disappear, just for you.

disappear cause I love.

42 tears went through my body permanently,
I have been waiting for you,
for a thousand years.

My heart is beating, my mind is burning
One vibration, one dream, one name…

Time passing by silently,
I’m still here, waiting, seizing …

The sun lost its sight
The avalanche blinded my vision
My lips became the lightning
Longing for you is no longer a language

I’m waiting, at the same position
The whole universe started crying
Another 500 years passing.

The stars slowly falling
with the speed of lighting
to the deepest part of my heart,
like hailstone, like emerald,
like diamond and pearl
from Galaxy,
from the brightest part of your eye
from the silky blue sky,
with a wish, a wish I’ve been longing since last century…
(With the ancient color and luster…baby )

I have been waiting for you,
for a thousand years.
but I haven’t seen a trace,
a little trace about your face, about
the way you walk towards me, intangibly.

My body is full of your image
I lost my own identity
only my eyes are still full of tears,
floating into floods
frozen into glaciers,
10000 feet to infinity
beyond my imagination.

The first 500 years.
I standing up here, don’t move,
My hair become fossil
My skin dries like flame
No more water drop, no more moisture with crystal color.
no more fog, no more air… no more
like the veins of leaves, stop flowing

A bird flying over my shoulder,
He laughed me like a monster,
It was not you, so I kept waiting,
Another 500 years I did not move one inch.

I bear my own pain,
I lost my arms as well,
they grew up to the sky,
as part of the pine tree,
baby,
the snow falling four seasons, I was looking for
your shadow,
I was looking for you, a beautiful stranger with a
soul of snow

but finally you did not come, you did not see my smiled heart with tears,
I became a fossil, a primitive fossil

someone finally picked it up, and that was not
You.

He looked at it with tears,
He looked at me with the face of faith,
(He must be touched I think.)

Finally
he donated it to a museum,
a beautiful fossil with the mark of love

Everyday, a lot people came, to watch me, then they leave,
a lot people, a lot couples, I was looking for your
shadow, but I did not see
a breath… a slight breath of an atom
a light of particle,
I did not see, the invisible soul with the purity of gold.

day by day, year by year, each moment,
I was looking for you,
in the crowd of cold and fragile,
each moment I take a heavy breath
each moment
It was like a century

each moment passing like lightning.

but I don’t sigh
I will always recognize you,
even though you disguised,
even though you already reincarnated into
something else,
but the smell, the energy, the info about you
is
the same,
I can still tell, I can tell right way if you
showed up

right in front of this fossil,
with the most joy and ecstasy,
I will let the last drop of my tear fall cause
you
arrived

But that never happened.

I lived in the museum for another 1000 years
finally the museum became a giant crystal stone
and I was part of it… I remember, remember you… with the soul of snow. that was long time ago, the snow, the peak, the mountain, the Everest

the Everest is still here, the time vanished
I’m still here,
time don’t cease , that’s us, we are ceasing and aging
but not me, not this heart, this soul, this mind, this dream.

every single second I reborn baby
arising from the ashes, just like the phoenix,
with the eternity, stay in the center of the solar system
they don’t die, I don’t die, even after I become a fossil, I still arise from my
ashes,
just to see you, to look for you, one more time, cause
time
don’t cease, neither do we, we are the sun of god, the one and only pair eggs from the fire,
we become the prehistory eggs of phoenix, arising again, again, from the
last light year, we arise, with victory, with prosperity,
I called it Feng Huang---the one and Only pair living
in the womb of the fire

I remember, remember the second 500 years of Everest
disaster come from all over the universe, from eight direction and six dimension
the ice age is coming.
snowslide falling down
from the mountain
at the speed I can never imagine

my back injured, also
my neck,
but my feet are still standing, at the same position

Himalayan becomes the age of heaven.

Hurricane whipping my skin,
My blood floating like flood,
Covered the whole universe, including Everest,
Millions of millions azaleas blossom at the same time
Crazily, wildly, hysterically, blood red,
a color you have never seen.

(What did you see my darling…? in the flaming red petals…
If you couldn’t see, just listen; listen to the heart of the mountain!)

They want you know
I’m here, waiting for you
for a promise has been lost for a thousand years,
for a wish, a faith ,
a man I have never seen
for a star lost its own identity.
for my own destiny and mission
(perseverance ? sacrifice?
or both
or a mind of goddess)

My blood blossom, for you,
just for you.
So that you can look back,
So I can see a slightly trace
of your beautiful face, carved with
faith

Another 500 years passing
by my feet
I heard nothing but blizzard
They took my bones.
My pulse stops beating
My blood stops flowing.
My lips grow to leaves and branches.
My ancient face starts blooming

The first revolution was ending.

Skyline and horizon disappear at the same time.
Like oxygen already a legend can’t be reaching.

Then the 8th of the 100 years came
The sun suddenly dazzling as the fire of heaven
All the clouds started burning
The strong white light with elevation,
Dry, less oxygen,
devours every piece of snow,
every drop of my hope.
My throat can ONLY remember one name,
And that is YOU

All the rains and snows gathered
at the center of the equator
all the light and heat started weeping, with
high energy, for a girl from China,
for a soul with strength and fragility.

Everest is in drought,
all the glaciers start melting,
I tasted it,
(before they evaporated)
it was salty, so salty

( Darling, you know what it is)

All the glaciers dissolved to air,
with the boiling hot temperature.
every corner is written with your name,
Like the star in the dark blue sky,
Infinite and everlasting,


I am still waiting,
in the peace of the mind
in the center of the universe
in the wet-hot air, I still smile.
The smile could change the whole universe,

The eternal sunshine enlightening the
dark inside of your eye
There is something never changes,
There is something called faith.
Firing, like the Equator
Has the most touching enthusiasm


I’ve listened the silence of the day and night
I am still standing, at the same position.
the moon and the sun
in the dark for another 100 years.

I’m already a prehistoric fossil, with 800 years history

In the 9th of the 100 years,
My whole body grows to a tree,
An ancient pine tree with the arms to the sky,
with the feet to the core of the earth.

My whole body’s twining with the crawling plants for a century.
My lonely bones are hundreds of hundreds years of integrity
No one can change my eternity.

I’m waiting for you here,
On the top of the Mount Everest
For a thousand years.

My root stopped growing,
The branches and leaves are already luxuriant
My commitment is finished
as the pine tree of the century.
But I can’t forget why I am here at first place.
Why I am still not happy
Why I still feel missing?
Why am I still lonely?

My love and my holy heart
This is the decision I made,
This is the path I chose
I will always be waiting for you here
With the same position
For the same reason,
For another thousand years if that’s the way
It is.

I’ve seen unlimited days and nights
Infinite seconds and minutes.
The unchanged sky
The snow-white sunshine.
I know every star’s home, I’ve seen the
Sunset and sunrise at the 8850 meters high
How they born and how they die
I already have no tears.
The red clouds flaming on the top of the Everest
My root continue growing underneath
at the speed of light,
No one can see,
But you, no one knows, but YOU.

I am still waiting, the 10th 100 years is coming.

My posture is still the same
No one can change the way it stands
A flock of eagles start weeping
You may laugh at me baby.

A thousand years passed.
You finally arrived;
With my imagination, with my withered heart,
on this wasted land,
I’m nervous, also afraid,
with nothing but a wish, a thousand years old wish

My eyes finally have the tears again
That’s the flowing veins in the body of the pine tree.

A thousand years passed,
You finally appeared,
But when you came, it was just like a second
It seemed never real

Everest still has the snow-white skin and muscle.
I waited for you here, for a thousand years,
Darling,
My look has been old, so old
I lost my beauty,
Including my ancient face, and my arms, I
can’t even give you a hug.
but something’s still beating.
fresh red, like Girard azalea,
still burning, still
blazing, flaming
underneath the primitive stone
, in the snow.
( If I choose, I can let it fire the whole mountains of the azaleas... )

Darling,
Maybe when you see me, you probably don’t recognize
remember, just remember,
when you’re about to turn around
listen, listen carefully
inside the pine tree,
there is something still beating;
that is my heart, my ancient heart,
it has been beating for
You, for a thousand years

Then, if you want
You can still turn around
But you see
You will see
one drop of tear,
falling down, falling down, slowly
to the ground,
to the snow
so clear
that’s the last blood of my heart
---( and it will never dry by the wind…)


Darling,
I have been waiting for you here
On the top of the Mount Everest, for
A thousand years.

Snow under the fire

when I am lost
can you show me the light on your finger tip?
or im just a lost child can't see the dark but the moment of eternity & last life's
secret?
I am a wounded kid
looking for my direction
you may never see me
but you know my pain

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FEcmKZnT5GQ

The sound of Silence

I am listening " The Sound of Silence." very touched...
like paul said: People unable to love each other....so let's LOVE....

In this WORLD, people are SO rational & they are trapped in their MINDS, that's
why they are UNable to connect their HEART...ONLY HEART can SAVE. ONLY HEART can UNITE, ONLY heart can HEAL.....

Emotional connection to YOU ALL, yes, I can still feel

There is no difficulty that enough love will not conquer;
No disease that enough love can not heal;
No door that enough love will not open;
No gulf that enough love will not bridge;
No wall that enough love will not throw down;
No sin that enough love will not redeem.

It makes no difference how deeply seated may be the trouble,
How hopeless the outlook,
How great the mistake;
A sufficient realization of love will dissolve it all.

If only you could love enough you would be the happiest
And most powerful being in the world.

–Emmett Fox

You will never be nearer to God through all eternity than you are At this moment.
Just relax, LET it GO, Let it be
Let life FLOW as it is.
ALL is WELL.
So it is.

My Movie, My life, My Book.

Just finished a feature script.....want to direct, produce & star in it....

Have an idea for a short, discover the connection, moments, & loss in the river of TIME....inner connection btw human beings....poetic & beautiful....looking for Cameraman...about 10-15 mins, shot on HD Camera, anyone interested can contact me
( NikiYan@sbcglobal.net).

ALso, thinking about making a movie out of a Chinese novel I wrote years ago...also a poetic one with mood, speed, emotion & senses.....( still very touching when I read it, astonished actually...) Yes, I have written 7 Chinese books, two poetry collection, one essay collection, four novels, want to make movies out of two novels last least, one is about A young Girl's illusion, LOSS, & Dream, One is about Chinese girl's sextual, cultural revolutionary jouney in the United States, yes, life just started for me, without art, I can't live

I am NOT a Scientologist

a lot of people asked me if I am a member....well I am NOT, Not in a million years...
Even though I did get a special tour ( actually three) at the celebrity center at the request of Tom Cruise. It's NOT Tom's fault, he is just a victim, & he is stuck. I Believe Tom Cruise is innocent when he is promoting for Scientology. I believe Scientology did help him, ( Actually a lot of msg are very postive about the Scientology, like no drugs, like spiritual healing, like Positive thinking, like discover your own potential, it's all GOOD), the problem is the organization, I don't TRUST any organized things ( religion or political parties), If you want to improve your life, you can practice at home, read the book, I have read the Ron Hubble's book, some of the msg is uplifting, & i agree, but we don't need to go to a church, you can learn at home, we are OUR own GOD, and we discover our own potential, & LOVE is everywhere....Unfortunately, Scientology falls in to a place that makes me wonder their TRUE motivation. But still you have a choice, you don't have to become a memeber, It's UP to YOU! I feel like Cruise did get the best treatment of Sciebtology & I did believe he received some postice changes, that's why he is speaking for them, but he is Innocent, he just does NOT see the darkside of an organzied religion...But he is INNOCENT. SO Please DO NOT equal Tom Cruise & Sciebtology, even when I was meeting with Tom, we talked about it...I do agree with them on Drugs, Healing etc. But You see, I am NOT a Scientologist, I believe the same thing he did. A friend told me they also use some kind of machine...I think that's bullshit....the bottom line IS, know that YOU are GOD, You are DIVINE. You are Infinite. You can do anything. So you don't have to rely on any religion & organization to become a DIVINE human & accomplish your dreams, ALL organized religions fail to help people become more centered & aware who we reallY Are. We are DIVINE & we are GODS. So don't blame anyone, you have a choice, if you realize YOU are your own God, and you don't need any man-made religion to accomplish your mission, then all the Religion/organization will fail to Power. If you DO want to join some groups, there are some BETTER ones, like Self-realization Fellowship, like the church of Religous Science...It's all about Spiritual...Not Control...So find your way home, remember You have a choice, if nobody join in them, the will NOT exist.., and the mission is accomplished. I have compassion for all My fellow humans, we are all seeking for TRUTH, & a Better way to live our life, I want to know ojust thing: YOU ARE GOD, & YOU ARE DIVINE. YOU ARE THE POWER. NObody can control You. cause you are the DIVINE, You are infinite. & YOU ARE LOVE. Realize how beautiful LOVE you are...You will know what to do. LOVE TO YOU ALL. NIKI

US Afternoon and China Night --- A Poem to A white Boy

Walking down the street
Sunshine came to my eyes,
the white boy’s sitting by the trees.

Everybody says I’m Chinese
you say I’m something else,
you say I’m the summer night,
warm your bed and melting your dreams.

Actually you are wrong,
I’m the stranger to you, white boy,
I came all the way, all the way across the Pacific Ocean to see
Your
Face.
to see the eyes of blue, the heart of gold
to see a soul
covered with snow.
even so, even you don’t know, even I’m the first you will
ignore.

I still remember,
remember the bicycles and the dust,
the country has billion people, you know

I breathed, yes, I tried to breathe like a palm tree,
not the village I’m from,
there was no tree, no beautiful faces
everyone looked at me with dust and
distrust

I felt like a stranger, I saw people laughing
maybe they’re laughing at me
and this is real,

I couldn't breathe, I couldn't even speak Chinese,
I escaped from the small village like phoenix.
They say I’m a wounded bid, no, not really,
I grew up in that far east country

Today, when I’m sitting in this lousy city,
My memories go back to the village
and the city who supported my dreams,

I can’t tell you if you don’t understand
I can’t tell you if you never dreamed
I can’t tell you
if you don’t know what dream is what love is


Five thousand years of prosperity and flourishing
Five thousand years have passed, I saw Lao Tse and his buddies
I was one of them, I remember
I drank a lot, party, happy , 2000 years ago baby

Wake up from the old ancient dream,
came back to this developed country

Everybody talks about human rights, everybody
loves Lemon chicken,
everybody is like enemy,
I don't care, I don't see
empty words just like a hollow tree

Ten billion people asleep on the table of Lemon Chicken

“Let’s talk about human rights!”
“I want to talk about teriyaki and MacDonalds.”
“Let’s talk about human rights!”
“I want to talk about marrying a rich man and having a Ferrari.”

Escape to the U.S.
The far west country with dignity
for better or worse,
I escaped for a reason of opportunity

I was also thinking about Tom Cruise,
but that’s not why I’m happy.
I saw Beverly hills, and Pacific high way,
But that’s not why I’m here baby

Forget the Lemon Chicken and human rights
From now on, I’m going to learn how to pump the gas and pick up a guy
in English,
From now on, I’m going to dig gold
learn scuba-diving and bungee jumping
dye my hair blond and get the boobs job done

It’s the 21st century baby
I live in the city of edge
I moved to Los Angels,
I better know how to flirt and smile all the time

From now on,
I’m going to fall in love
fall in love with a white boy and make love all the time
talk dirty in English when I’m happy
fall in love with a boy speaks the language and have a Ferrari

I know he will be hairy, but he will buy me expensive jewelry
teach me surfing and skydiving,
We will hang out in Beverly Hills and fly in his private jet
Dive in to the pacific and drive around in Malibu all the time.

Shop on Redeo Drive, live in Limousine
Talk like a Star, get a bodyguard
I’m a transplant(My mom always told me being an international transplant is like wining a
lottery.)

I already decided
(for better or worse?)
I’m going to fall in love,
with the eyes of blue, the heart of gold
I’m going to love him, crazily
Just for a democratic reason.

Who cares? Lemon Chicken and human rights, who cares?
Ten billion people asleep in the darkness

I’m Chinese, actually not really,
I’m in the US , everybody speaks English to me on the street.
I feel not too bad, sometimes I even don't think you are all right,
But you know,
That white boy knows,
I have something hidden,
I have something to say but I didn’t.
That white boy, sitting by the tree, in a small town of this developed country,
My skin’s so shining, yes you can tell, this is 21st century,
My skin’s so shining like pacific ocean.

I hate Beijing’s buildings and Taxi drivers,
Including Forbidden city and Starbucks
When they talk about it, I want to talk about something else.
I don't want to talk about Kung Pao Chicken or Teriyaki ,
They think I’m crazy, they think I’m boring
Let's talk about something else

I was talking to a white boy on a yellow winding road.

I like white boys, I like Kung Pao chicken too,
I want to talk about human rights
when I’m chewing fortune Cookies.

The white boy laughed, then confused,
he left me with a mysterious smile.

Ok, let’s talk about China,
Let’s talk about Forbidden City and lemon Chicken

It's the first day of the summer,
I remember the white boy I met
last night...

He was dancing, his hands were dancing
, actually he's shaking, no,
he’s talking, every time when he’s talking, it’s like he’s dancing.

His skin was so white and his face carved with human rights.
He had a brown hat, when he's dancing, he threw it around.

I saw him, in a beautiful afternoon,
everybody walked away,
Just me and him
a secret dancing around
down the rabbit hole next to the coffee shop

I asked him where you're from and how old are you,
He told me in a strange way,
Actually we’re all friends even though I’m the little China girl.
My hair floating in front of your hat,
I guess at that moment I was saying love and hello.

He drove his Porsche away
Left me in the city of angels.
I see all the old dirty paper floating over my shoulder
It starts raining again today
the old dirty paper flowing in the wet sticky air.

I bought an umbrella, it becomes my roof, my only protection so I can keep distance with someone famous
My only roof in this depressing city
I was standing, in the rain,
with the roof under my arm,
and I saw him, disappearing in his limousine
from far far away

I thought we were close,
actually not really,
there was a distance between me and him,
like the stars you see at night
infinite and drives me nuts

Today is Valentine’s Day
every Valentine’s day is raining or windy
Or old dirty newspaper flying over in the wet sticky air
actually everyday is Valentine’s day for me, everyday,
If you are in love everyday is Valentine’s day

Finally it stopped raining in this lousy day
I stood outside of 7-11 with my hotdog on
my right hand,
I hold it like a flag
I was holding it, like the blue red American flag,
With stars, strips and all that.
It’s brilliant, shining
almost burned my eyes baby

Then I said this world is beautiful,
Then I start eating my hotdog.

Maybe I’m destined to be alone, maybe I’m destined to eat hotdog all the time, and
waving,
waving outside of 99 cents store, waving
with the American flag, “Please accept my loyalty and love, enemy!”
I punched it to the air
I was waving, standing, with the half hotdog done and chewing

I was waving,
waving a man I can never reach, waving a dream, a wish, a lottery, a snowflake
in this clear day.

I remember a year ago, I stood here the same,
same gesture, same waving, same desire and same despair, & same hotdog
With the same lost, today, I’m standing up here again
people from all over the world giving me a hug, but not you
You were not there,
I was yelling your name and punching the hotdog into the air

I’m already used to it, darling
standing here, at the 99 cents store, with my hotdog on.

Homeless and street performers,
People laughing or drinking
But no one noticed you, in the dark side of the road.
I told myself I should love life,
Actually I already started loving myself,
when I saw the strange boy in Hollywood
I told him I love you.

He's still dancing, also smiling, with his hat and hands,
he was looking at me, looking at me like an angel with sweet silence.
the sound of the silence.

A guy sitting next to me staring at me,
I can see his joys and pains under his
cheeks,
He walked way, and kept saying:
" Hi, girl, Where are you from and how old are you?
Your parents must miss you!"

I turned around, and I saw my dad's wrinkles in another side of the ocean,
Actually I was thinking about something else
I was thinking about how they punished me when I celebrated my birthday.
They even gave me the finger, but that’s not what I am talking about.
no one cares about my youth but me
Democracy, birth, rights.
free me baby, send me to the land of green
Set me free, feed me with Lemon Chicken and fortune cookies.

A Chinese guy said brave girl to me then disappeared in San Francisco.
I love my country, I love freedom too, even more.
I love the earth with peace and harmony.
Someone’s probably throwing dirty words to me at the same time
But I saw that white boy again,
I always see him,
He is in the corner of the coffee shop,
He is under the roof,
He's dancing, and smiling, with his hands, with his hat and faith.

He is in Hollywood,
He lives in Beverly Hills,
He goes to London and Japan,
His name is Tom Cruise.

He has jets and Bugatti
I have fortune cookie and Spaghetti

You may say this world is not fair, but
I’m happy that I’m here

I was in paradise,
I saw him, then I am bright.
I’m always bright when I see him.
I saw him on sunset blvd., walking,
When I see him, I see a heart of GOLD
I always see him a heart of Gold.
Heart of God.
He does not know who I am,
but he knows,
I’m the little china girl, I
am his hope and sunshine
Like the trees, blossom leaves in the spring, no complain.

Rainbow crossed the sky
Sunshine comes to your eye,
I love him, I love the sky.

It’s a beautiful summer night
It’s always summer here in the city of Angeles.
even in this chilly day with wind blow on my ears
but I feel the warmth, I feel the love and heat,
Everything is amazing to me on this special day
And you probably never know the pain

The stars covered my face
I hold my breath and closed my eyes
I hold my breath again and thinking about his pretty face
Then I walked closer to him, like a goddess in love with Narcissus
He looked at me straight into the eye, and says:

"Hey girl, you don't know what you are talking about, do you?"


-- From Niki's Poetry collection " LA Life."

Flame.

Dance in the wind
breathe...
floating high
above the sky...
the eternal flame is NOT just in
me.

Going to NY!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am coming to NY to promote my new book "My Love for You, Tom Cruise -- A Desperate Chinese Girl’s Confession”. (http://www.lulu.com/content/3896968)

I will participate at the Tom Cruise interview at the TIMES center in NY 12/17.

I am looking for News/Media people can take this rare opportunity to interview the Mul-talented writer & celebrate life!! This is a great time; I believe this planet earth is in transition time, our humanity is moving to a higher consciousness. And yes, anything is possible now. I am here to make a difference, and my book is part of my expression, of course there is always a msg along with a book or a movie, and my book is NOT an exception. To help the world a better place is my intention, also part of my mission. I have a dream to dream, I have a gift to give, & this is the time!

I am also very excited to speak & meet Mr. Cruise again on 12/17, I am going to present him my newest screenplay, which is a hopeful drama and will change everyone's life. That's a fiction and I am very excited! I am going to ask Mr. Cruise star in it with me. I was interviewed by E! Entertainment, & I told them my dream & my mission, you can watch the video on youtube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KjwJ7nnTUaM

I am excited to come to NY! This is my first time, to be part of the greatest cities in the world is my honor and I look forward to that!

I am a writer/Screenwriter/actress from China, I have several books published in China,

About the Tom Cruise Book:
A journey from the East to the West. An inspirational story about a young Chinese girl’s life from a small village of China to Hollywood America . It’s about love, Dream, and Hope. It’s filled with humor and genuine emotion. It’s a rare gem in the world of Passion. It's available on Amazon.com and LULU.com. (http://www.lulu.com/content/3896968)

This fascinating story is about a young Chinese girl who came to America to pursue her own American dream after she was inspired by TOP GUN. Tom Cruise invited her to the set of M:I3 after he was moved by her story. And she was also interviewed by E! Television. What happened after she met Tom Cruise? And what has she been going through in the City of Angels ? When you read the book, you feel like you’re in an exhilarating journey of your own. It's filled with speed, love, and tears. It’s bitter-sweet, yet compelling and uplifting. It reveals the TRUTH of human experience, it’s a candid and honest work, it’s just as important as ‘The Catcher in the Rye ”, it’s the second ‘The Catcher in the Rye .’ It’s going to liberate America and the rest of the world. The true emotion and sarcasm and the sharp of the language will make it a rare gem in the world of literature.

It’s unusual and original, funny and inspirational. It's spiritual. It’s universal.
The girl's journey is NOT just a journey from China to America . It's a human journey, it's self-discovery; it's self-realization, it's about the universal love in each and every human being. It's about the unconditional love which will SET everyone free. The TRUE liberation for humanity is LOVE; unconditional LOVE, " If It's not unconditional, it is NOT love." This book provides the TRUE solution for human condition, and the WORLD we live in RIGHT NOW.It has True answers and it is connected us ALL.

It’s for everyone who loves Tom Cruise, and for everyone who doesn’t. The readers may never experience what she experienced, but they definitely had a dream like she did. This book's going to change their lives from the inside out.

It’s in a genre all its own (Humor, Inspirational, Spiritual, Pop Culture, Contemporary , Multicultural, Self-help, Fantasy, Adventure, Literary, Motivation, Humanities, Metaphysical, Ethnic , Romance and True events).



Please do NOT hesitate to contact me.

I look forward to seeing you ALL in New York!

LOVE to YOU ALL.
Niki
323-464-0418

About the Author: Niki Yan, born and raised in China . Author of sixbooks. She now lives in Los Angeles pursing her acting and writing. This is her first book in English.
________________________________________



Peace is Happiness.

Love is ALL It IS.

I offer you my LOVE, PEACE, & Joy to each of You!

Pass the words around, heaven is On Earth!! Right Now. Right here.

Goddess Niki