Chinese Girl In America ( A Book)

Niki Yan, a native Chinese, born and grew up in China, a published author since she was a teen. Niki now lives in the city of angels.


Single short summary: A Chinese Girl’s journey in Hollywood. A human journey. The dream represents us all.

Single detailed summary: This is a revolutionary book. This unique original story is about a Chinese Girl’s adventure in Hollywood. It’s brilliantly written and full of passion. The Hollywood journey is actually a human journey. The language is direct, sharp, and simple. It’s right to the point. It’s beautiful and poetic, it’s just so real. It deals with a lot of social problems we are facing now in the world. It’s funny, and inspirational; Sarcastic and emotional. It’s spiritual. It’s universal. It has a taste of the rebellious spirit. And it will change the world. And there is no better TIME than now to set everyone free, and my book will do it. It’s honest and heart-felt. It makes you laugh and cry at the same time. It’s filled with humor and genuine emotion. It’s filled with organic passion. When you read the book, you feel like you’re in an exhilarating journey of your own. It's filled with speed, love, and tears. It’s bitter-sweet, yet compelling and uplifting. It reveals the true human experience. It’s a candid work. It’s just as important as ‘The Catcher in the Rye”, it’s the second ‘The Catcher in the Rye.’ It’s going to liberate America and the rest of the world.





Table of content:



Good Bye China
Let me in !America
Hollywood! Hollywood
Lost in translation
A Desperate Chinese Girl’s Confession
Swim with the sharks
Life on sunset blvd.
Catch the big fish
My Big Fat American Dream
Age of Innocence
Like a virgin
Catch me if you can
You are the Play
From Lemon Chicken to Spaghetti
Die another Day
Another Part of me
Wild at heart
Don’t Cry for me, Los Angeles
Crocodile’s tear
In the mood for love
No Pain, No Gain
Instant Karma
All is full of Love
City of angels
Time to celebrate
New Horizon






If you ask me what kind of story this is, I can’t tell you, it’s about a poor Chinese
girl falls in love with a white boy, or a white boy falls in love with a poor Chinese
girl. It’s none of them. It’s something larger than that. Like at night when you look at the sky, and you wonder why they shine in the dark of the night. Sometime, I wonder the same, why it is bright, and so generous.





Good-Bye, China


I hate Beijing’s buildings and Taxi drivers,
Including Forbidden City and Starbucks
When they talk about it, I want to talk about something else.
Not Kung Pao Chicken or Teriyaki,
Let's talk about something else.




If you ask me how I ended up in Hollywood, and fell in love with the city of angels, I probably can tell you one thing or two, like how lousy my childhood was and how I dragged myself into this La-la-land of America. First, it wasn’t easy to come to America for a poor Chinese girl like me. Second, I did not grow up in a rich family. So life was always hard beyond imagination. But if you really want to know, I can tell you how I dropped from high school in the perfect time of my life.

It was right after the Chinese New Year. I remember that day clearly. It was Monday. I came right back home after I saw those lousy teachers who were desperate for a new brain-washed semester. I smelled the stink in the air. And I left the campus right way.

I saw my roommate Lin picking his nose right in front of a classroom, and a girl he really liked was staring right at him. It was kind of funny. They were not kissing or anything, they were not doing anything glory either. Lin’s face was funny, it looked like he just cried. I did not say anything, I just walked away. He did not see me, otherwise he would talk to me like a madman. He always talked to me like a madman.

I came right home told my parents I dropped. They were shocked. New semester. New Year. Everyone was excited to register, but not me. I was a rebel. I truly was. I hate the educational system in China, maybe it’s all the same in the U.S, or any part of the world. The truth is I hated the educational system, period. Everyone wants exactly the same thing. But not me. “The best education is to see masters at work.” Michael Jackson said it. And I can’t agree more. The only true education is to see love in demonstration, to see the infinite divine source everywhere in creation.

So I wasn’t in regret about my decision. I never was. If you ask me if I ever regret to drop high school and jumped in an airplane to the U.S., the answer is NO. My life is not about a piece of paper. My life is not about repeating others. I knew this since first grade. When I enrolled the elementary school, I was only five, I liked to cross my legs on my desk in the classroom, and the teacher simply did not like it. So I had to sit straight like a zombie and that’s how they liked it. Osho said the same thing. He said when he was a kid, he liked to cross his legs on his desk, but he wasn’t a wimp like me, he said to his teacher: “This is between me and my legs , not yours. I’m not sitting on your desk or your head, you should relax.” Intelligent people are always criticized being crazy. Cause they are not conformists. Anyway, I was a rebel, I did not change myself just because other people made the stupid rules. You can’t learn a damn thing from a classroom. Being a machine certainly was not my intention. I wanted to be free. I wanted to be myself, but you know how hard it is to live in a society which is full of zombies. I would rather climb mountains. I can learn more from the birds, the flowers, the nature. But you can’t learn a damn thing from the teacher. Pink Floyd said long time ago: “We don’t need education, teacher, leave the kids alone!” Maybe I listened them too much, I wanted to break the wall, and I don’t want to be a brick , not in a million years.

So I wasn’t happy to be at school studying ABCs. I’m just not that kind gal. I have my own rules. I have my own worlds. My parents weren’t happy about my decision. Actually they were very mad, They wanted me to be like any other Chinese kids, like going to college, getting a job and finding a lousy husband and their life will be better. Well, that kind of cliché doesn’t work for me. I am a rebel. I hate the traditions. I hate them with passion. All you do is to worship your ancestors. Or live for your parents. Nobody has a goddamn life for their own. It’s pretty sad. I’m telling you. Everyone wants money, power, or they just want to find a goddamn job so they can pay bills for the rest of their life. But do they ever have a life? I don’t know. All I know is humans are becoming less human each day. And it’s pretty sad. And I wanted to pursue my dreams, to do whatever fills my heart’s desire. And my dream was: to be an actress in Hollywood.


Basically I just said “See ya” to my parents, and jumped to the airplane. Of course it was not that easy. I had to call my old uncle and asked him for some lousy dough so I can leave the country. Well, he did give me some money, but not much. Just enough to cover the tickets and all.

One thing I have to tell you is when I was at the American embassy to apply for a visa, the Chinese spoken American man just turned me down three times. Who knows, maybe he was just being ass. The last time I was there, I simply told the guy that I’m going to see Michael Jackson concert at stable center and I already bought the tickets. And this time, it’s a different guy and he just happened to be a Jackson fan and he looked right into my eyes, knew that I wasn’t kidding. Well, I wasn’t kidding. I wasn’t kidding at all.

Anyway, that guy kept talking about Michael Jackson for thirty minutes straight, and everyone thought he was nuts. I thought he was simply lovely. It’s hard to see people full of passion about something, most time people just complain and blame about the paper and bills, and the endless chaos and suffering which we all create. So it was a bless to see someone is excited about something. Michael Jackson never had a concert in China, the fact is he never landed in China. But I had the desire to land in America.

Anyway, I was very lucky. I did move my ass to America. It was the best decision I have ever made. I told my best friend from junior high, his name was Lin. Yes, the guy I saw on the same day I dropped. I told him I’m going to be an actress in Hollywood, guess what he said:

“Are you crazy? You are still young. Why don’t you stay home to be safe?!” Boy, I laughed my ass off. Be safe? I came to this world not to be safe, but be alive. He does not understand my dream. He never did. The only reason he became my friend because he was a good listener. That’s all. We had nothing in common. My old English teacher heard me I was leaving, and he was almost in tears. I never forget the way he gazed at me, perplexed, or even a little bit confused. Maybe he wanted to go to America too, but he did not say anything. He sighed deeply after he offered me a glass of Martini on a sunny afternoon in his office. He was a good friend. Not because I always got good grades, actually the opposite: I wasn’t a good student. I wasn’t a good student at all. And he was there to show me his own genuine emotion and I was very touched. It’s hard to leave. I swear God it’s hard to leave. I know the feeling. I know the feeling so damn well.

“Niki, I will miss you. My daughter always wanted to go to America, but she failed three times, eventually I sent her to Belgium. I just wanted her go abroad. I gave her thirty thousand dollars each year to support her. She is lucky, very lucky, she has me. But Niki, I’m even more proud of you, you came from nothing, you don’t have a rich dad, but you have a rich heart, good luck, young lady, I hope someday I will see you walking on the Red Carpet! Hollywood is yours now. Take over America by Storm!”

Mr. Yang truly knew me, he knew my dreams. But Lin was different, he was only a kid, he knew nothing about dreams. After I told him I want to be an actress, he simply said: “ For the sake of money and fame?”

I just had to laugh. Not everyone sees life as the way I do. Poor Lin, knew nothing about the dreams, his life must be very dull. That’s how I really thought. If someone doesn’t have a dream, I don’t know how s/he lives the life! Without dreams we will die. Just like our breath, without breathing, life vanishes.

“Well, the reason why I want to act is like why you’re breathing.” It was a rainy afternoon, we sat in the corner of a tea house, watching the big rain drops wimpling down the window. It was wet, dark, and rotten. The whole world was covered with a curtain, my mind was blurry too. It was foggy, misty. Lin was sipping his tea, his eyes focused on the greenish tea bag for a long time, then he said he loves me. He was only 16 years old, and he said he did not like the idea that I’m going to Hollywood to become an actress. “That’s pretty lame, Niki, you can be an actress here in China, why America?” He pouted and I said nothing. Sure something he will never understand. I told him that I’m going to America in two weeks and I already got the ticket. He started crying. “You know Niki, I always want you in my life, I love you, I can’t live without you, why do you have to be so cruel and leave me? I can make you happy, do you think America will make you happy? A lot of Chinese there treated as third citizens, and what you’re going to America for? To wash dishes in a Chinese restaurant and being depressed all the time? You will be far from home, no family, no friends, no nothing, it’s not even your own country!”

“Lin, you probably never understand. There is a world called adventure. that’s what life is all about, to live, to experience, not to stay in the same old house for all your life, that’s just not me. Plus, this world is huge, so much to see. If you don’t have a dream in your life, don’t you love to travel? Love to see other cultures and other people? See how they live their life?”

Lin did not answer my question, the raindrops went through my heart like a river. Lin couldn’t understand, not at all. My heart was beating for a dream. And he did not know underneath the quiet surface, there was a shining storm. My blood was flowing, my soul was dancing. I was a dreamer, I truly was.
After we finished drinking tea in that creepy teahouse. I wanted to walk in the rain. Lin followed me. The rain was pouring. It never rained like this in Beijing. I wish we had an umbrella. The truth is whenever Beijing rains, the streets get so dirty, all the trash, newspaper, dirt mixed together and flowing around in the city with the water from heaven, and that’s so depressing. I only had a white long sleeve shirt on, and my whole body was trembling. After we walked in the rain for twenty minutes, Lin offered me his jacket. Eventually we both agreed to find a roof to get away from the rain, so we stopped at a grocery store. We were standing outside of the store under the roof-edge, hoping the rain would stop any time soon.“Lin, give me another reason why you don’t want me to go!”
“Cause I love you!” He screamed to the sky. And I swear God his voice was penetrating the sky, and my body started shaking very bad,
“ Low your voice, Lin, it was too loud!” He did not pay attention to what I said, he never did. I noticed a little girl standing next to him. She looked like five years old, standing there with her mom. Her eyes were really big, three times bigger than regular human’s. I thought she was an alien or something, but I did not say a thing. I stared at her quite a while, finally I said: “ You-are –so-beautiful!” She gazed at me for a second, the way she looked at me was so mysterious, and profound, it was so familiar, it seemed that I have met her before, from last life. It was such a strange feeling, but also it remind me of synergy. Something thick flowing in the air and I was just frozen there for a while.
Lin did not believe in reincarnation, basically he is not spiritual. He said when you die you die. And he kept petting the little girl’s head, and she seemed very annoyed. It felt like I’d been standing there for a thousand of years. Time sat still, no past or future, it was just Now. The little girl’s mom seemed not like me staring at her daughter, “Ling, Let’s go home, the rain is getting lighter, let’s catch a bus.” She grabbed the little girl’s hand and they walked into the rain. And it’s getting heavier. The little girl turned back to me many times. I saw that saddest look, and the sadness was very profound.
“Niki, see, you scared the little girl away, her mom was pretty pissed off, can you not tell?”

“Maybe she is an alien.” I murmured to myself.

“An alien? ” Lin laughed, “Niki, you’ve been acting so strange lately. An alien? Alien my ass, there is no such thing as alien.”

“You don’t believe in Aliens?”

“No, of course not, we human, the only life in this universe!”

I did not want to argue, I walked into the rain. I was obsessed with the rain for some reason. I love nature. I love nature in all forms. I’m always amazed by the natural phenomenon, like thunderstorm, like eclipse, like sunlight, like ocean breeze, it’s all fascinating to me. The rain was pouring like a monster. And I was just standing there letting the water from heaven cleansing my body. And it was so satisfying. I saw Lin came out from the grocery store, with a coca-cola on his right hand.

“Want a coke?”

“No thanks, it’s so cold, I feel like hot chocolate… or wine, something keep me warm, you know what I mean? Not a coca-cola, definitely not.”

The rain was still pouring like a monster, it was mixed with my own memory and wet feeling. I was thinking about the five-year-old girl. A few crows flew over the pine trees. People say crows are bad luck. I never thought so. Good or bad all depend on your own thoughts. They are simply shinning and living to me.
The day I was leaving, Lin went to Beijing International Airport to see me off. He brought me a lot of roses, and he had tears in his eyes. I never thought this guy could be so sentimental. To be honest, I never liked Lin, I mean I liked him as a friend and all, but nothing more than a friend. I was pretty emotional too, but more than anything else, I was excited for my own adventure. Lin’s eyes were flaming red, like peaches. He really cried hard. The Airline started calling people for boarding. I put on my red shining Nike bag, shook his hand, and said to him in an extremely soft voice: “Good-bye, China.”

poems

Angel on earth



I saw myself flying high, above the sky
to the snow mountain, to the end of the
Planet.

I saw tears flying down on my cheek

The white dress covered my face, covered my tears…
And I was like an angel…

flying high….

Tears flying down on my arm
Sunlight kissed my lips,
I was flying like an angel

I saw myself flying high
With horizon disappearing in my eye

The white snow mountain
The wind blows the horizon




LIGHT


I am the lightning in the dark blue sky
The sunshine under your eye,
The imaginary rose and clouds
The rain that wet your dreams
The dragonfly, the sound, the silence, the pain the prayer,
The emptiness, the daring one with all the courage
I want to share you my sorrow and pain
If I am living my life as God's wish

The Best Day Ever!

You are reading this book cause you are being called!

This is the time to make a difference in your life, this is the time to make the BEST of it! Yes, today is the best day ever!

Have you ever wondered how you life would be changed for the best of us all? Have you wondered how you can breathe the beautiful cosmic energy so you can blossom like a flower and radiate the most amazing light which is already INSIDE of You?

Yes, you are Love, You are Light, You are the absolute truth everyone is seeking. Yes, you are the sunshine, you are the air, you are the flower, you are the water, you are the universe. And You are going to shine like a magnet and make everyone smile!

Cause Today is the Best Day Ever!

Life’s purpose is JOY, LOVE, AUNDANCE and Well-being. It does not matter what you do, now it’s the time to change for the BEST!

The Past is Over, the future is NOW.
Today is the Best Day ever!

You thoughts, your feelings, your words and everything happen inside of you will manifest outside. How do you feel now? Do you feel happy? Peaceful? Lovely? Healthy? How do you feel this moment? What’s on your mind? What are your dreams? What are you going to accomplish? There is no better time than Now to pursue your dreams. And you know it, it’s ALL coming true~!

RIGHT NOW. RIGHT HERE.

And It is UP to YOU!!

You are a sacred DIVINE being and you are very blessed just being alive, and you know God is infinite, there is no lack with GOD, he will supply anything you want in your life, the question is What DO you want? What’s your Passion? What is your Inner Calling? What is it you love to do?

You may not have a lot of money in the bank right now, but you know it’s coming to you like water, the universal abundance is flowing to you like a river! Why? Cause Everything is part of God, and God will manifest everything you want! And money is just part of this Divine Energy! And it’s good to have money, it’s part of the Divine, so love it, embrace it, manifest it, and the most important: Know you deserve it!

We become what we think, we even become more what we feel. How many times we just re-act with circumstances, and forgot the energy we sending out will come directly to us? You can make the change, you can make that shift! Make every moment BEAUTIFUL, cause this is your Divine light, this is your Divine RIGHTS. And You can make the shift now! No matter what happened to you in the past, let it GO! Today is the best day ever!

I’ve heard people talking about their problems, they complain, they blame….and I understand, but I want to tell you this simple Truth: No matter what other people did to you, no matter how bad the situation is, you can always embrace it with LIGHT! Why? Cause when you are sending out your beautiful Divine Energy, the universe responds with exactly what you send out, even more, miracles happen when you are aligned with the Divine creation.

And this is the Best Day ever, cause today you are going to feel different, think different, act different, cause today is the best day ever, cause today is your destiny. So, don’t take advantage about life, accept whatever comes! LOVE, embrace, know that the infinite potential is within, you are more than capable to do things you always want to know, and NOW is the TIME!

Don’t waste your time no more! Even though you have done this through most of your life, cause you were negative, you were hurt, you were depressed, you felt left behind. I know this feeling, and I know how you feel. I know all this so damn well! And Now it’s the time to feel how beautiful you are, how capable you are, and how much you can offer, for the WORLD. You are not here to eat, sleep, work a job you don’t like and pay bills! No, this is not a life! Remember, fear is the only thing make you stop from being beautiful, lovely and abundant!

There is no such thing as minor, as insignificant. Everything you see you touch is grand marvelous creation, and everything you don’t see is also the most remarkable! Know yourself, know who you are. You are not your flesh and bones you call it Physical body, you are divine energy, every singe cell in your body is crying for your attention. And each cell is a universe itself, don’t take advantage of this divine opportunity! Don’t take advantage of the DIVINE Grand magnificence we call LIFE! Life is speaking to you NOW! Love is touching you, and the universe constantly echoes to every thought you sent out!

There is nothing we can do but being Beautiful, Lovely, and shining, and yes, this is YOU! And there is less you can do!

Feel the LOVE in the air, smell the roses, and know you MISSION.
You came here for a higher purpose, and you are important, for all of US! You are here to fulfill your destiny, if you are doing some work you truly hate, Stop NOW, if you’re experiencing a bad relationship, step out now! Cause this is the time for the NEW, the Old must go!

So don’t hold on the OLDS, Embrace the new! “Every moment is a chance for everything turn all around.” So be ready, be lucky. And You are. You are about to create something incredible!

My grandma always told me that: “ Don’t struggle! Just Shine!” And I remember her words, I remember her words so damn well. And she was always shining, and vibratingly
healthy, cause she knows one thing: she is LOVE, once you just BE the love that you are, everything will just unfold like a magic, effortlessly and beautifully.

So here is what I ask you to do, if you want to have money, Give, if you want to be happy, Give, if you want to be healthy, Give, don’t hold on NOTHING, let it GO, know that ONLY GOOD come to your life when you are giving. And this is the awareness you must have. How many of us hold on things so tight so we don’t let go, so we block the New Fresh Abundant energy coming to US? How many times we are just afraid to LOSE so we actually can’t see the Abundance within? Yes, everything is INSIDE of you. WHO you really are? You are the most marvelous thing I have ever seen, cause you are unique, you are special, no one else in the world is like you. You are the rare Gem, and you are the emerald of life, and you are the Alchemist, and you can turn lead to GOLD!

Actually you are the GOLD!
Your world is full of magic. And you are about to bring it to the world, and yes, in the world stage, you are the actress/actor, you are the producer, you are the director, you are the MASTER!

You see, once you realize how magnificent you are, how precious you are, you make miracles, actually the miracles are just coming to you, cause one thing I know for sure: once you believe something, it will come to you in reality. And I write this long time ago:
“In a free world of imagination, there is no limitation.” Sure, there is no limit, you are infinite! And you are going to be like supermen and superwomen cause you are going to fly as the speed of light!

But you know any number is a limit, even the speed of light, but not you thoughts, not your imagination, you can always dream SKY HIGH and reach SKY HIGH, this is YOUR divine right.

Pause for a moment now, How do you feel?

How DO you feel NOW?

Take a deep breath, and close your eyes…

What do you see?

Yes, the Divine Light.

The creator. The Source. Some people call it GOD.

And I call it the Universal Divine Field.

So you have entered the Kingdom of Heaven.

Welcome.

I solute your courage! I admire you talking the first leap of your LIFE!

Now you have been transcended, now you are the Master of your own LIFE. Now you are FREE, finally. Everything you want is coming to you NOW.

Congratulations.
You have come a long way.

Be Proud of yourself.

The universe is welcoming you. You have come from far far away, and now you finally came home. The fresh fruits and vegetables are welcoming you. The divine drink from heaven is mixed with Love and it is for you. And that’s the food for the SOUL, and every cell, every particle of your being are happy NOW. And they are applauding you, thanking you, and being Proud of you!

LOVE, PEACE, JOY, ABUNDANCE and SUCCESS are flowing to you NOW. And remember: Everyday is a Holiday and Today is the BEST day ever!




Forever love and Light,

From Your host: Niki Yan

Namaste.

post some pictures--back from China

My New Chinese Book!!


To my left is the super Chinese Rock star-Zhang chu at a PR conference in Beijing this May, 09.


with Clint Eastwood


Me on Melrose hours before headed for China!!